Author: mglossop

Episode 3

Blackfish

New World

Antichrist

Episode 2

Would You Rather

“She could have improved it by taking her clothes off”
Today Rosco and Mikey sink their teeth into Would You Rather, the 2012 American horror film. Rosco, growing as a film reviewer, announces that he will no longer be revealing the plot of every film he watches. He then proceeds to reveal quite a lot of the plot. That’s okay though, because Rosco & Mikey viewers are not the smartest people.
To summarise – 7 or 8 people are locked in a room, and eventually kill each other. If you’re not too distracted by crab man in a suit, you’ll notice that there are some truly ridiculous twists in the tale. For instance – a vegetarian wouldn’t eat a steak- that would make you ill! It’s a complete clusterfuck.

Die

“If gore porn is for you… there’s practically none of it here”
Die is another sub-par horror film – kind of like Saw except it’s really really really bad. Directed by Dominic James and released in 2010, Die is about a man who finds people who have failed in their suicide attempts. He locks them away and makes them roll a dice to determine how another person will suffer through their chosen suicide method. If you think that sounds crap, you’d be right. Ross points out a key twist, being that the main detective on the case is a woman. Rosco and Mikey then tell us about “gore porn” but helpfully point out there’s practically none if it here. Rosco reckons the cinematography is crap – everyone in the film wears such drab clothes, like in Chicago.

ATM

“Who wrote this garbage?”
ATM is an American horror film released in 2012. To summarise: three co-workers find themselves trapped in a secluded ATM and are then terrorized by a killer for the remainder of the film.
Mikey is mystified by this plot – how is that all that happens?! But Rosco, as usual, is able to point to the massive “twists”. Namely, that the killer planned all of this terrorizing and didn’t even bring a toolbox! This really is the crux of the issue. Rosco would take a toolbox with him to a picnic, and this guy doesn’t have tools for scheduled violence? Sorry, Rosco’s not buying what you’re selling ATM.
This film is so bad, Rosco invents a new rating system – the black hole, for when a film is so horrible it sucks the life out of you. ATM gets not one, but two black holes.
Mikey gives ATM one star, which is explicable only by the fact that Mikey is Nob of the Week.

Episode 1

Gomorrah

Rosco and Mikey Review: Gomorrah

“Don’t watch this drunk”

Today Rosco and Mikey review Gomorrah, the 2008 Italian film directed by Matteo Garrone and based on the book by… someone. The film is set in Naples and layers the plots of five people involved in, or touched by, the activities of an organized crime syndicate within the Camorra.

Foreign language films are hard work. No one wants to spend their leisure time reading and this one in particular is not for the weak-minded. It’s a long movie. You will have to concentrate. Know that.

On the upside, Rosco and Mikey agree that Gomorrah is gritty, real and well-acted. It is slow to start but Rosco points out that this is because it’s based on real life, and real life is pretty boring. Whilst they disagree on whether the film explodes into action in the second half, it sure sounds like something happens there towards the end.

Rosco is developing a palette for foreign films, and this one is no exception.

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